If you would know what the Lord God thinks of money, you have only to look at those to whom he gives it.     

Maurice Baring

I do not believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.     

Woody Allen

 

 

You must give some time to your fellow men. Even if it’s a little thing, do something for others – something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it.     

Albert Schweitzer

Deer hunting would be a fine sport, if only the deer had guns.     

William S. Gilbert

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.     

Thomas Jefferson

Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.     

St. Francis of Assisi

Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.     

Benjamin Franklin

I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.     

Edward Gibbon

When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind, and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.     

Phyllis Bottome

You're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem.     

Eldridge Cleaver

If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and you would achieve nothing.     

Margaret Thatcher

 

 

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.     

John F. Kennedy

A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn't feel like it; an amateur is one who can't when he does feel like it.     

James Agate

All life is a chance. So take it! the person who goes furthest is the one who is willing to do and dare.     

Dale Carnegie

Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.     

Alan Alda

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.     

George Bernard Shaw

 

 

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.     

Oscar Wilde

Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.     

Feminist graffiti

 

 

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.     

Alexander Graham Bell

 

 

The trouble with my wife is that she is a whore in the kitchen and a cook in bed.     

Geoffrey Gorer

Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you're carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There's no time for anything else.     

Richard Gere

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.     

Woody Allen

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.     

Thomas Jefferson

 

 

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.     

Abraham Lincoln

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.     

Rodney Dangerfield

Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.     

George Orwell

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.     

Thomas A. Edison

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.     

Gary Snyder

Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.     

Arnold H. Glasow

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.     

Benjamin Franklin

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.     

Margaret Thatcher

Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.     

Pablo Picasso

War against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it.     

George Orwell

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.     

Woody Allen

Don't think. If you have, don't tell anyone. If you have, don't write it down. If you have, don't sign it. If you have don't be surprised.     

Unknown

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.     

Alan Bennett

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.     

Robin Williams

It takes two years to learn to speak and sixty to learn to keep quiet.     

Ernest Hemingway

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.     

Oscar Wilde

Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.     

Wendy Wasserstein

Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.     

Albert Einstein

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.     

Joan Rivers

The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.     

Philip K. Dick

 

 

Women have a wonderful sense of right and wrong, but little sense of right and left.     

Don Herold

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.     

Eleanor Roosevelt

The one thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.     

Lord Thomas Robert Dewar

The goal you set must be challenging. At the same time, it should be realistic and attainable, not impossible to reach. It should be challenging enough to make you stretch, but not so far that you break.     

Rick Hansen

The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you.     

Werner Heisenberg

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.     

Mark Twain

There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them.     

Clare Boothe Luce

I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.     

Woody allen

Don’t spend your precious time asking ‘Why isn’t the world a better place?’ It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is ‘How can I make it better?’ To that there is an answer.     

Leo Buscaglia

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.     

Aldous Huxley

I can never remember whether it snowed for six days and six nights when I was 12 or whether it snowed for 12 days and 12 nights when I was six.     

Dylan Thomas

When business is good it pays to advertise; when it is bad you have got to advertise.     

Unknown